Apple Screen Time
Free- Covers Filtering
- Covers Time Limits
- Covers Monitoring
- Covers Location
Already on every iPhone and iPad.
Five layers. Four jobs. The tools that actually cover each one.
“Parental controls” is really four different jobs, spread across five different places, and most tools only cover a few of them. This map shows which tool does which job, so you can stop paying for overlap and fill the gaps.
“No parental control system is going to be absolutely perfect… If you have something valuable, you put it in a locked safe, put it in the locked car, put it in the locked garage inside your locked house. It's not impossible, because it never is impossible, but it's going to take a lot of work.”
Each row is a layer. Each column is a job. Tap a layer to jump to its tools.
| Layer | Filtering | Time Limits | Monitoring | Location |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. On the device | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| 2. Inside the app | Yes | Depends on the app | Depends on the app | Depends on the app |
| 3. On your Wi-Fi | Yes | Yes | Yes | No |
| 4. On your cell plan | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| 5. Conversations | Covers what the settings miss | |||
Show me tools for:
A quick honesty note: the Amazon links, Bark, and Canopy below are my affiliate or discount links, so I may earn a little if you use them. It never costs you extra. Everything else is here because it's a tool I'd recommend for the job it does, with no deal attached.
Built into the phone or tablet, free, and already there. Start here.
Already on every iPhone and iPad.
For Android phones and Chromebooks. You can run it from an iPhone.
Blocks nudity and sexting as it happens, in any app on the phone.
This one lives here instead of Inside the App because it works on the device itself. It scans photos and what's on the screen in real time, across whatever app your kid is using, so it behaves more like Screen Time or Family Link than like Bark. It also blocks categories, apps, and websites, sets downtime, and sends location alerts.
Each app's own parent settings. They're free, but they only cover that one app, so set up the ones your kid actually uses.
Daily time limits, game maturity levels, chat, and spending caps.
Watch my video Official parent guide
Link your own parent account to theirs to set a daily time limit, choose which maturity level of games they can play, control who can chat with them, cap monthly spending, and see their friends list.
Content levels, blocked channels, and timers, including one just for Shorts.
Watch my video Official parent guide
There are three options depending on age: YouTube Kids, a supervised account for tweens, and supervised teen accounts. For younger kids, you can also see what they've been watching. The video link starts at the YouTube part of my Family Link guide.
Daily limits, bedtime blocking, Restricted Mode, and who they follow.
Family Pairing links your TikTok account to theirs, so you'll need one of your own. You can block the app during school or bedtime and see who they follow and who follows them. You can't read their messages.
Strict settings by default, plus daily limits and who they've messaged.
Watch my video Official parent guide
Teen Accounts start with the strictest content and messaging settings turned on. Add supervision from your own Instagram account to set a daily limit, block the app at night, and see who they've messaged in the past week, without reading the messages themselves.
Their friends, who they chat with, and live location. No time limits.
You can see how much time they spend in the app, limit sensitive content, and stop My AI (Snapchat's chatbot) from replying to them. Ask them to share their live location with you and you'll get a heads-up when they arrive at or leave places like home or school. It shows time spent but doesn't limit it, and you can't read their chats.
Who they talk to, which servers they're in, downtime, and spending caps.
Read my full guide Watch my video Official parent guide
See who they've added, messaged, and called, which servers (Discord's group chat spaces) they've joined, and what they've bought. You can choose who can send them friend requests and DMs, blur or block sensitive content, set a monthly spending cap, and schedule downtime when Discord is off. You can't read their messages.
Daily time limits, chat controls, and a PIN before any purchase.
Epic's controls cover Fortnite and its other games: daily time limits with a weekly playtime email, age-rating limits, who can voice and text chat with them, and a PIN before any real-money purchase.
Extra content protections, quiet hours, and features you can switch off.
Watch my video Official parent guide
Link your account to your teen's to add extra content protections, set quiet hours when it can't be used, and switch off features like voice mode and image generation. You can't see their chats. You'd only get a notification if there's a serious safety concern.
Flags bullying, predators, and self-harm language, so you don't read every message.
Watch my review Get a Bark discount
Bark connects into the accounts your kid actually uses (texts, email, YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Discord) and flags concerning content like cyberbullying, predatory behavior, and self-harm language, so you don't have to read every message yourself. What it can see depends on the phone: Discord, for example, is covered on Android but not on iPhone.
Covers everything on your home Wi-Fi, even devices you don't own. It stops at the front door, and when they switch to cell data.
A router built around parental controls.
Powerful, but you set it up and build the block lists yourself.
Like OpenDNS, with ready-made filters instead of lists you build by hand.
A top all-in-one router. The parental controls need the subscription.
All the parental controls come with the router. Nothing to pay monthly.
Synology calls its parental controls Safe Access: website filtering, time limits and schedules, and daily or weekly activity reports, all included.
For bigger homes that need mesh Wi-Fi (a few units around the house).
Follows the SIM card, so it still works away from home. Usually a monthly add-on.
The layer no setting can replace, and the one that matters most.
“If they're coming to tell you that they came across something inappropriate… I always say, ‘Oh, thank you so much for telling me. I'm sorry that happened to you. Let's figure out how we can protect you so it doesn't happen again.’”
Eleven conversations worth having, one at a time: open the Conversations page
Screenwise
Devorah Heitner
Practical, level-headed, and the closest in tone to how I'd want you to think about this.
Find it on Amazon52 Modern Manners for Today's Teens (Vol. 1 & 2)
Brooke Romney
From my own interview with Brooke. Short, doable, one manner a week.
Find it on AmazonThe Tech-Wise Family
Andy Crouch
A values-first, practical way to decide what tech is actually for in your home.
Find it on Amazon